The Proverbs 31 Woman
NOTE: Let me start off by saying this. These next few devotionals are sensitive topics in today’s society. Nevertheless, it is imperative that it be discussed. With that being said, the information will be rooted or confirmed in scriptures, The Word of God. I may also use statistical facts, from reliable sources (psychology, science, and other credible resources) to explain certain aspects of these devotionals. For the next several weeks, we will be discussing marriage. To do this, we must start where it all started, with a man and a woman. Each devotional in this BLUEPRINT series will be working its way up to the key to a successful, happy marriage by breaking down its components, just as Jesus did when He was asked about marriage and divorce (Matthew 19:1-11). So, let’s get started!
The last few weeks, we discussed the characteristics or qualities of a godly man and husband. Then, we will delve into what a man must do to be a godly man and/ or husband and reviewed some of the things that women can do to support men on their journey to growth. This week, we will be discussing the characteristics of a godly woman as it pertains to Proverbs 31! The Proverbs 31 Woman! Let’s go!
Proverbs Chapter 31 is King Lemuel’s recollection of the wisdom his mother gave him. There isn’t much about King Lemuel apart from this chapter. However, I believe it is important to note the following:
· This chapter is full of lessons regarding women, by a woman, to her son.
· The name Lemuel means “dedicated to God” or “devoted to God.”
· King Lemuel’s mother’s guidance affected him so much that he recites it in this chapter, which shows a little of his character.
· King Lemuel’s mother is guiding him on what to look for in a wife, who will eventually be his queen.
Read the scripture below.
The Proverbs 31 Woman is Virtuous, Rare, and Precious.
We know that this woman is virtuous because it says it here in the scripture. The term "virtuous" means righteous or morally correct. Since it is used here, we will call the woman that is being describe as a virtuous woman.
A virtuous woman is rare and difficult to find because of how the world is today. Television and the internet have a more significant impact on kids than their parents and grandparents. Society is being driven by social media. People are guided by what feels good to them (like the people in Judges 17:6) instead of aligning with God’s Will. People are loud about their thoughts of what is right. Unfortunately, the loudest views, the views that gain the most attention, are the ones that do not align with God. Consequently, it has bred unhealthy comparisons, cancel culture, flagrant disobedience against God, and churches that are afraid to speak on topics that may cause attendance to go down. Today’s culture has negatively influenced everyone, men, women, and children. Still, despite the odds, it is not impossible for a woman to become a “Proverbs 31 Woman” because God is still in control.
The Bible says that a good woman, a potentially good wife is like rubies. Let’s dig a little deeper into this comparison. Where do you find rubies? You find them under dirt and rocks in darkness. So, what can we gather from this comparison about a virtuous woman? A good, virtuous woman, does not have to come from a good family. A woman can become the kind of woman depicted in this scripture despite what her family has done. Having a prostitute for a mother and a womanizing drug dealer for a father does not cancel out a woman’s likelihood of her becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman. That should be freeing for someone. Another thing to note is that rubies are covered until discovered. This means that the logic of a woman parading around a man, showing her body to gain affection, and behaving in a provocative manner to draw people to her is not only degrading but senseless. I’m not saying that a woman must dress like a nun or drape herself from thick, loose clothing from head to toe. No. Find the balance between extreme modesty and provocative attire according to your body. Bodies come in different shapes, sizes, and tones. True fashion compliments the body. A Proverbs 31 woman is confident and values herself too much to cheapen herself by prostituting her assets. She carries herself in such a way that demands respect without speaking a word. Think about it. Usually, when you see a ruby, its guarded or has some type of barrier
between you and it, right? If you are fortunate enough to have a genuine, naturally created ruby, did it come cheap? Did you pick it up at the gas station or at the Dollar Store? I think not because it is precious. Even when a ruby is discovered and uncovered, it is guarded and kept, wrapped in velvet or satin in a vault. That sounds awfully like when a man finds a good woman and potential wife. He discovers those godly wife qualities in her, marries her, covers her with his name and protection, and loves her for the precious jewel that she is.
Another factor to think about is how rubies are created. Rubies are made under extreme heat and pressure below the earth. It forms under pressure. Similarly, a virtuous woman is created under pressure and difficult circumstance. This can also be said about men. An individual must decide whether those circumstances will develop and reveal these virtuous characteristics, or destroy it. Character is revealed in conflict or under pressure. It takes time to develop, like a ruby! It can take between 20 – 30 MILLION Years for a ruby to form! The Word of God declares that a good woman is worth far more than rubies… PLURAL rubies. Rubies are rarer and much more expensive than most gems, including diamonds. This is why it is an important lesson we must pass down to children. Give our daughters this knowledge to increase their odds of becoming this woman. Inform our sons, just as King Lemuel’s mother did, so that they could recognize a capable wife.
The last point I want to discuss about this scripture is the word “Find.” The scripture says “Who can FIND a virtuous woman?” What does this mean? Well, last time I checked, rubies don’t just jump in your hands, which eliminates any notion that a woman should throw herself at a man. Again, men are hunters by nature. Why take the hunt away? So, a man finds a virtuous woman because he is intentionally searching for her. So women, if a man does not notice you, it means that he is not available, you are not on his radar (attraction), or he just didn’t notice you. Regardless, it is unwise to make a spectacle of yourself or shoot your shot. It is a sign of desperation and insecurity. The odds of it resulting in a healthy, fulfilling relationship is slim. Remember, the virtuous woman is rare, and they do not broadcast their assets because rarities are sought after. Men must put in work to hunt because nothing worth having comes easy. Keep this in mind.
All of this came from one verse, one single line of scripture! Let’s move to the next verse!
The Proverbs 31 Woman is trustworthy and honorable.
These two verses specify wives, but a good woman makes people feel safe because she is trustworthy and consistently honorable. The scripture explains that a virtuous woman will help her husband and will not pressure him to do things to keep up with other people. Her husband will have everything he needs to succeed through her influence and her support. Again, this still goes for women who are not married, except the focus is on helping people around you or in your circle of influence for God’s glory. This characteristic in a wife will never pressure the husband to do things that he cannot afford, that are not best for the family, or that he is not ready for to please herself. These acts display selfishness, insecurity, and immaturity. This characteristic in a single woman will never manipulate or put pressure on people to do things for her own gain, or consciously put people in uncompromising, detrimental situations. So, a good woman, according to God's word, is considerate, selfless, mature, and secure and what she has and what God has given her.
The Proverbs 31 Woman is a hard worker, productive, and a leader.
Although Wool and flax fabric are superior to cotton, these fabrics were difficult to work with as there were no scissors or machinery like today. Nevertheless, this
woman sought after it to work with because she wants quality for her and her family! A good woman works hard and smart for her family. She does things that are fruitful or beneficial to her family, and to others. She does not scheme or take shortcuts to cheat her way into her fortune. That is lazy, manipulative, and deceptive, which are sinful. A godly woman works hard and smart to honestly build and create things herself. Here is another comparison. The Proverbs 31 Woman is compared to merchant ships, which at first glance, seems odd. A merchant ship is built to safely transport cargo or carries passengers for hire. Its productive! It is not a pleasure vessel, which are used for personal recreation. Merchant ships are usually specifically designed for the task, often being equipped with cranes and other mechanisms to load and unload, and come in all sizes. Well, the woman was not created for personal recreation or pleasure (sex, exploitation, ungodly sexual favors, and other abuse). She was not created to rule over or be ruled by a man. She was created as a helper to the male man and to have dominion alongside him. She is built strong to relentlessly support and provide for her family and others by managing her resources.
The 15th verse let’s us know that the virtuous woman wakes up before day in the morning to prepare food for her family and her employees. This may not sound like much, but it indicates an important aspect of her character. This woman is disciplined about her responsibilities.
These are only a portion of the characteristics of a godly, virtuous woman. Next week we will continue this discussion by breaking down the rest of Proverbs 31:10-31. Then, we will evaluate some things that men should consider regarding women.
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